Riley Ramblings


I have been keeping a list of hilarious and cute Riley quotes for the last few months and thought they would be a good laugh for the blog. Plus I want to make sure I save them and never loose them, so I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!!

“Can I come to your party, if I’m allowed to? Can I come to Joshy’s birthday too?”

“You can’t go on vacation when I do because I need you to pack my stuff and I’m bringing a lot of things.”

“You can’t move out of the state because then you can’t be my nanny anymore!”

“I’m going to keep you forever and when I get big I’ll take care of you.”

This is what he says when he wants you to remember something: “Keep it on your mind.”

“I’m gonna eat all the cold away from you so you’ll be warm warm warm.”

“Let’s go to Noodles For Company for lunch.”

I told Riley the loud noise he was making was hurting my ears, his response: “How about you put on some headphones?”

Riley: “Are you my last nanny?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Riley: “Are you going to be my last nanny until you have your own kids and want to leave my house?”

“Everytime I try to eat the cold it just gets colder.”

“I’ll be Joshy and you be Madewyn. I’m going to work so you stay home and take care of Roosie. Feed the baby I’m taking the bus to work.”

“When I grow up I’m gonna be a singer. Riley Mason and the brown bears. My CD is gonna be like Taylor Swift but with boy voices.”

“What time am I going to be a nanny?”

“Does the Grinch ever smile?”

“The Grinch doesn’t steal houses because they’re too big to carry and he knows people want to live in them.”

While making gingerbread houses I told Riley that some people do this all day for their jobs, decorate cookies/cakes/etc. all day. His response: “Oooohhh, maybe I’ll do that when I get big!”

“Does our gingerbread house look fantastic? It’s going to be the most fantastic on Christmas Eve. What are we going to do on Christmas Eve?”

After seeing my outfit to go to Josh’s Christmas party, said with a big smile: “Ooohhh you look like the ballet!”

Me: “You’re on your way to 4!”

Riley: “Yeah, I’m hunting down 3 and a half!”

“My thinkers no on today. It has the day off.”

Me: “I’m going out for wine after work with my friend and you don’t want wine!”

Riley: “I’ll come get wine and then you can drive me home. Let’s do that. Let’s get wine.”

“Well, lemonade is better then beer for sure!”

“Why are the days flying past? I want the days to stop at Wednesday! I’m gonna try to stop them!”

“Stay right there. I’m going to walk home by myself!”

“You have to wake up if you’re sleeping in the afternoon cause it’s your last chance to wake up during the day.”

“I wanna grow up to be you!”

“What if I married your family? What I was your sister? What if I was your brother? What would you do with me?”

“Let’s go knock down a house. What if I was a real wrecking ball?”

“There’s no bad guys in this world!”

“We’re almost family. I wanna be your brother, Madewyn!”

Me: “Why did you almost get a present taken away?”

Riley: “I stole Christmas!”

“Madewyn, I have to tell you a secret. In 3 days it’s going to be Christmas and it might snow and then we can build a snowman!”

“I keep my eyes open all night watching for monsters.”

“Sorry, Madewyn. Santa and Elfie told me you’re on the naughty list so you’re getting coal for Christmas. Coal and poo-poo.”

“Ooohh, I’ve got it! Wet’s talk about body parts!”

“I’m gonna give you three hugs and three kisses!”

“I wanna come live with you and Joshy!! I’ll bring my bed and my toys!!”

“I’m full of pictures.” -aka no more pictures

“We pet the animals on healthy diets.”

“I dreamed about me and a monster. We were 2 monsters and we locked doors and threw the keys in the garbage.”

“what’s New Years song?”

r-“why’d you give me a marshmallow?”

m-“because you’re so cute!”

r-“thanks. You’re the best Madewyn. ” sung-” when you wanna be the best just ask me”- over and over

“let’s have a party after my rest. But first we have to put up party decorations!”

“you’re an icicle Madewyn. Β I made you an icicle. ”

“What if I was snow?”

“how about we call Santa and ask him about this?”

“I’m from English. ”

“Let’s hit that learning!”

“No more water. No more water for me. Water gives me a headache.”

“We’re dizzy everyday cause the sun goes around the earth.”

“I’m doing the shapes so I can be an artist. Wanna be an artist with me? Just have to wait until I grow up. Make sure you tell Joshy, it’s not a surprise.”

“What’s Roosie’s favorite color? I like lots of colors. Ask her when you get home.”

“The letters are helping me learn. We should do some learning stuff today.”

“Blue for Riley. I’m a boy.”

“You and me are Costco buddies.”

“You don’t have a face.”

As he tackles me: “watch out, it’s the famous Riley of the world!”

When telling people his parents were going on vacation. “They’re going on vacation to a different world!”

What he told everyone before he had surgery. “I have to have an emergency soon.”

“You’re the biggest girl in the world and you’re big enough to be a nanny.”

When counting all the good things that happened that day. “Yeah I’ve got so many luckies!”

“A singer is smarter than Facebook but I’m smarter than you cause I know a hundred streets.”

“How come I was born a boy?”

After throwing me under the bus for something he did. “Just a little boy trying to create confrontation.”

While talking about flights getting canceled at the airport, “I always fly out the same days cause I’m the famous master of the airport!”

“I read about it in one of my scientist books.”

After I taught him about groundhogs day, “when I woke up in the morning I didn’t see my shadow cause I turned into a groundhog. Which means I tricked the groundhog and winters almost over!”

“There you go. You’re listening to my directions now.”

After his dad snuck him a donut, “you’re my best a tricking donuts!”

While walking through the grocery section at Target, “hey! what’s that smell? It smells like something carby!”

“You should have been in my surgery! I went to outer space! Not real outer space but I had a mask!”

“I’m not married yet. When is someone going to marry me??”

“How do sharks go poopoo? They’re so big! How do they get it out of their bum?”

Sung: “Candles keep the smell out from your noseeeeee!”

While telling Riley about t-ball starting in April, “what kind of stadium am I gonna play in?!”

When Taylor Swift comes on the radio, “we neeeeeded to hear Taylor Swift! Why do I love her more than you?”

“Hey look! It’s raining icicles!”


While asking him about his Spring break trip:Β “How about you ask me some baseball scores?”

“I tried a breakfast sandwich, is that nutrition?”

“Hey Madewyn, your hair is longer!”

After his he a cronut for the first time: “This cronut is the goodest cronut ever!!”

After hearing Hartley lives at her college: “When I turn five I have to live at kindergarten?!”

After hearing how many years and schools it will be until he’s a surgeon: “I have to go to all those schools to use the robot!?”

“My switching color eye vision turns on when I say something colorey.”

“I’ve got a reader minder in my cheek.”

When he’s feeling sassy and doesn’t like me calling him monkey. “I’m not a monkey. I’m a human being!”

“I have a secret to tell you. Bear Bear is going to Florida today and he celebrated Easter this morning really early.”

“Did you see me getting un-shy? I waved!”

“I use to have fire power but I gave it to Lamby for Valentine’s Day!”

After driving past the train station: “I went there the first day I learned to talk.”

“I don’t count. Cause I’m not a stuffed animal.”


Me-“Where do you get your energy from and can you give me some?!”

Riley-“Ok, but that means I have to kiss you. That’s how I get my energy!”


“I take the peel all the way off my banana so people don’t say I’m like George.” (Curious George)

“I blew the candle out on the first try. I wished for bread.”

After his first experience at the movies for his birthday (we saw Monkey Kingdom). “Bye movie theater. See you next time!! Bye monkies!”

“When do people get dead? You’re never gonna get dead Madewyn!”

“Are the trees people who got dead?”


Riley-“How come no on is trying to draft me?” (to play professional baseball)

Me-“Because you’re 4!”

Riley-“How do they know I’m 4?”


Riley-“What else do I need to be in the majors?”

Me-“cleats and eye black.”

Riley-“Ok, can you give me a black eye sometime?”


While dropping Roo off at daycare: “You can call me Roosie, but I’ll be in school!”

“How come you did’t get me born?” (AKA how come you didn’t have me?)

“If I was a dog, I would only eat bones and play fetch.”

After I told Roo to stop whining: “Just let her do what she doooos!”

“I want to be a construction builder.”

“I have three jobs I want to do when I grow up. Surgeon. Baseball player and doggie daycare person.”

“Let’s go to the sewers sometime. I wanna see the ninja turtles.”

“Everyday is Madewyn day!”

“Madewyn, do I have eardrums in me?”

“I’m gonna have a ponytail one day.”

Chanting from the back seat over and over: “Sharks eat people. Sharks eat people. Sharks eat people. Sharks eat people. Sharks eat people.”

“I’m a mean puppy soldier.”


Conversation over tacos at lunch. Riley: “I’m a cat, meow! A kitty cat.”

Me: “I didn’t know kittens like chicken tacos!”

Riley: “I’m always telling you the news!”


While playing baseball. “Batting next for the white sox: Madelyn Martin Reynolds!!” (Riley likes to pretend I’m in his family, ha!)

“Madelyn, when are you gonna grow a baby? What’s gonna happen when you grow a baby and you’re still my nanny?”

“I’m not gonna have a baby cause I’m a boy. I’m just gonna build them. Like daddy helped build me.”

“I still feel 3.”

“Are there sharks and crabs in your pool?”

After observing himself wearing the bracelets he made: “Wow I look cool. I need more bracelets like you!”

“You had 5 flower girls. I’m gonna have 3 in my wedding.”


The day before we swam at the pool at my condo so during swim lessons this is what he informed his swim instructor: Riley: “Yesterday I went to a rool pool!”

Matt: “Isn’t this a real pool?”

Riley: “Noooo! This is pretend!”


“Who’s going to draft me?!”

“When I’m grown up and playing college baseball that’s when I’m going to ride my bike.”

After Hartley commented that she wasn’t going to buy anything at the popcorn shop because she needed to loose weight: “Hartley, you’re not chubby! Get some candy!”

“Yeah I read it on Facebook.”

After I gave him a couple gummy bears : “It’s too beautiful to eat! Can you bring me some more gummies this year?!”

During a potty break during his rest: “I’m just reading some books about everything and cuddly puppies.”

After making him scrambled eggs for breakfast: “Madelyn you are the fastest egg maker in the universe. How did you make it so fast?!”

After swimming on his own during swim lessons: “I swam all by my own in the deepness!”


Riley- “how was that embarrassing jump?!”

Me- “embarrassing?!”

Riley- “unbelievable!!”


“If I can do this puzzle by myself it’s a miracle. It might be a miracle. Can you tell me if it’s a miracle?”

“How do you be a tree?”

“How do you be a flamingo?”


Riley- “When can we go see the police?”

Me- “Why do you wanna go see the police?”

Riley- “Well I need to see them when I’m older because they give you your license.”


After seeing a car back into another car. “Uh oh, did they get into a fight?!”

“Hey Madelyn, your hair is kinda brown today!”


Me- “Riley, you’re the cutest zookeeper ever!”

Riley- “Am I the cutest one in the universe?”


“That’s a zebra painted like a horse.”

After I let him pick his own treats at the grocery store. “I can’t believe you’re letting me get all these junks! You never let me eat these stuff!” (animal crackers and fruit snacks, ha!)

After walking around the zoo all day: “You guys are wearing my foots out!”

“Hartley don’t forget to tell Cole to draft me after April 30th next year. If there’s a game on April 30th I don’t want to miss it cause I’ll be in Colorado.”

“There’s no tickling in football! I’ve watched football and there’s no tickling. You’re out of the game for tickling!”

While talking about potty breaks: “I can hold it for 20 mins with my eyes closed.”

“On your last day seeing me give me an I’ll miss you sign. Like when I get a new nanny.”

After telling Riley my friend was having her baby boy today: “So is the dad gonna make him today?”

“When am I gonna be a singer? People are gonna have to cover their ears when I sing cause I’m gonna sing louder then I scream when you tickle me!”

“It tastes like I like it!”

“Joshy will you draft me when I’m in college?”

“There’s a monster in all the darkness!”

“I’ve already met like 80 10 friends!”

“When do you go to space school?”

“Welcome to Riley and Madelyn’s wedding! We’re getting married tomorrow!”

“I need to have some more of your granola bar it is so good! ::takes a bite:: Is that good or what?!”

“If I worked at the Bloomingdale Costco that would be great because that’s where you go!”

“When I grow up I’m gonna work at Nordstrom so you’ll see me every Saturday!”

“When I hear a happy song I always thing it’s Taylor Swift.”

“Madelyn’s coming to California. She’s coming in my suitcase. ::opens suitcase:: here get in!”

“Bear bear, lamby, and snuggles are all married and my bed is their house and they never go anywhere!”

“Why do you have rips in your pants? It’s like knee pads, broken knee pads.”

“Madelyn why don’t you have any kids yet? I still want you to be my nanny when you have kids to I can meet them everyday!”

“Madelyn do you want some coffee so you can keep up with me?”


Riley- “What is Joshy allergic to?

Me- “Nothing.”

Riley- “What about little dogs that don’t listen?”


“Think we can have two sweeties today?” (aka 2 treats)

“Do you know how dragons blow fire? They drink hot sauce!”

“This box is reusable. That’s the first time I’ve seen a reusable box!”

“We’ve got to eat peaches before summer ends!”

“Why are you wearing that cute thing today?”

“What if you weren’t married and I was tall enough to marry someone? Then we would be married!”

“When Riley dies there will be no more humans!”


Me- “Riley why don’t you give Easton a hug?”

Riley- “Ok. Actually I don’t want to. I don’t want his crabbiness to get on me!”


“My next nanny is gonna be a boy after we’re done with you.”

“Just a reminder Madelyn, babys can’t wear sunblock until their 6 months old.”

“You have to teach the baby her ABC’s I am not teaching her learning stuff like you did with me.”

“Madelyn since you wear make-up all the tie you should use Neutrogena. It removes 99% of make-up.”

After finding out his parents found his last 2 nannies on “Can you put Joshy on so my parents can hire him for Sundays?”




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